Burdens and Bounty

Yesterday on my walk, I saw a couple of ball-like mushrooms (top picture). I thought, wow, that's different.  I'd only seen the umbrella shaped mushrooms.  Interesting.  Then today, the two guys I saw yesterday looked like the bottom picture!  What a difference 24 hours makes! They're like mushroom flowers - that's new for me, so I'm still relishing the discovery. Thank you, Lord! That was fun. 

My mind wandered to recent events that have made me look in the mirror.  I FEEL, deeply.  I can watch a movie and continue to mull over a hole in the plot, a character's behavior, or a disturbing scene, for days.  And that's just fiction.  In real life, I have 'experienced' events in the lives of others, to the point that I feel like it's happening to me.  There's obviously a blessing in this, because it gives me compassion and helps me to understand others better.  However, I also tend to take on others' burdens as my responsibility, which is not healthy in any way.  As a "fixer," I have struggled in my life with surrendering my burdens to God.  Because as stated, I see them as my responsibility.  As a result, I have at times closed up in relationships in an attempt to protect myself from this all-consuming struggle.

I know now that if I remain closed, I am also closed to the bounty of grace, relationship and peace that comes from surrendering those burdens to God and experiencing His power to protect and heal.  I'm closed to the opportunity to point another to HIM and see my friend experience God's love and provision.  As I've allowed those moments more, I realize that though my feeble attempt to put a bandaid on a situation is completely out of love and a desire to see an end to pain, it's quite arrogant of me to attempt to do God's job!  Lord give me wisdom to discern my responsibility, and peace in pointing others to the true source of power and love.  I am only a conduit, a broken vessel, which God graciously chooses to use to show a tiny fraction of the world, His abundance.

I once heard, that to open our hands to receive from God, we must let go of our tight grip on control.  So, I will choose to be a mushroom flower instead of a ball.  Overall, through the blessings AND the pain in this life, we are able to feel God's presence and know His love for us, "a good measure - pressed down, shaken together, and running over -" then allow it to spill over in the lives of others.