To Be, Or not to Be - The Modern Day Struggle
Well people, I have put myself in a tough spot. You see, I challenged myself to be more present. Everyone - seriously, look around anytime you're in public - Everyone is so distracted. Mostly people are on their phones, but there are also the ubiquitous earbuds, or the big headphones (and I'm like, dude you're in a business suit and you're 45...I just don't get it), or speed walking in a way that endangers old people and children...and middle-aged ladies who are uptown and aren't sure where Amelie's is (hi there, it's me). 👋 Most people don't even look at others, they just plow forward, preoccupied with their own world.
I just decided, you know, change begins with me, man in the mirror and all that. I put my phone away. I sit in waiting rooms and read a book - a paper book. Or I just wait. I decided I needed to relearn the art, dare I say discipline, of waiting patiently. There's something about being attached to the little world in your phone that makes you feel busy, even though you are accomplishing almost nothing. I don't like that busy, stressed, rushed feeling. It might be more important to save that energy for real stuff. So I'm doing what I can to get my mind in a good place, so that I can see people, be kind to people, notice when someone might need a hand or just a point in the right direction.
Here's my problem. In my endeavor to grow as a person and be aware of the world around me, I'm experiencing this emotion I know well, called AGGRAVATION. It sometimes manifests as ANGER. Also sadness, because I am now aware that people are missing life. Missing it.
I get it, people have jobs and appointments and deals and kids and all the stuff. It just makes me sad that we can't take a 15 minute walk to our next location to do whatever the next thing is, without continuing the madness. I remember when cell phones were first becoming a thing. I didn't have one, but I was starting to see them sometimes, and I said to a friend, "I can't imagine what call can't wait until you get to where you're going." haha It's so much more than calls now, it's constant communication with everyone you know and the world as well. It's not all urgent, but we treat it as such.
Our attention span across the spectrum of demographics, is shorter. I don't seem to be able to finish sentences without others breaking in with some "Squirrel!" -type observation or look at this cat video or where so-and-so is right now, etc. I'm serious! Maybe I fool myself, but I don't think I'm that boring...? When we need to be constantly stimulated in some way, we lose the ability to just "be". Be still, be with, be in...and in those moments, lie connection. Not the false connection we have in the virtual world, but real human connection. We were made for it, and when we don't have it, we feel alone in a crowded room, empty while living a life that goes non-stop all day. When we attempt to fill the void with other things, we get busier but no more fulfilled.
I'm not judging everyone (it's not like I'm any different), so much as noticing where we've arrived in this world. I think of the movie WALL-E where the human population is described like this: "In the centuries since the Axiom left Earth, its passengers have degenerated into helpless corpulence due to laziness and microgravity, their every whim catered to by machines." They are in chairs, moving round and round on a belt, staring at screens. At the end of the movie they kind of have to learn to walk again, because they have been sedentary for so long. This is of course hyperbolic, but the similarity is dangerously noticeable.
Though my sadness and aggravation continue with these observations, I will continue to challenge myself to be where I am, not just "see," but look for people, and discipline myself to sit with God and listen, because He is a still, small voice that breathes comfort and peace and power into my spirit when I seek Him - not when I'm multitasking. Intentionality with our existing relationships is also paramount. Be the instigator who invites friends over for pizza, or to catch up over coffee. Yes, the making a living and the doing of all the things are part of life. This is about setting priorities and being accountable to them. Remind the people in your life that they are special, worthwhile, worth your attention, by making an effort to spend time with them, asking them questions and listening to the full answer. It's in sharing this life, our experiences and struggles and dreams, it's in the being human together, that our purpose and fulfillment is met. If that is primary in our lives, it gives us energy for the "stuff" of life, and it can even influence how we use that stuff to extend connection, and relationship, even further. You know, change begins with me, man in the mirror and all that.
I just decided, you know, change begins with me, man in the mirror and all that. I put my phone away. I sit in waiting rooms and read a book - a paper book. Or I just wait. I decided I needed to relearn the art, dare I say discipline, of waiting patiently. There's something about being attached to the little world in your phone that makes you feel busy, even though you are accomplishing almost nothing. I don't like that busy, stressed, rushed feeling. It might be more important to save that energy for real stuff. So I'm doing what I can to get my mind in a good place, so that I can see people, be kind to people, notice when someone might need a hand or just a point in the right direction.
Here's my problem. In my endeavor to grow as a person and be aware of the world around me, I'm experiencing this emotion I know well, called AGGRAVATION. It sometimes manifests as ANGER. Also sadness, because I am now aware that people are missing life. Missing it.
I get it, people have jobs and appointments and deals and kids and all the stuff. It just makes me sad that we can't take a 15 minute walk to our next location to do whatever the next thing is, without continuing the madness. I remember when cell phones were first becoming a thing. I didn't have one, but I was starting to see them sometimes, and I said to a friend, "I can't imagine what call can't wait until you get to where you're going." haha It's so much more than calls now, it's constant communication with everyone you know and the world as well. It's not all urgent, but we treat it as such.
Our attention span across the spectrum of demographics, is shorter. I don't seem to be able to finish sentences without others breaking in with some "Squirrel!" -type observation or look at this cat video or where so-and-so is right now, etc. I'm serious! Maybe I fool myself, but I don't think I'm that boring...? When we need to be constantly stimulated in some way, we lose the ability to just "be". Be still, be with, be in...and in those moments, lie connection. Not the false connection we have in the virtual world, but real human connection. We were made for it, and when we don't have it, we feel alone in a crowded room, empty while living a life that goes non-stop all day. When we attempt to fill the void with other things, we get busier but no more fulfilled.
I'm not judging everyone (it's not like I'm any different), so much as noticing where we've arrived in this world. I think of the movie WALL-E where the human population is described like this: "In the centuries since the Axiom left Earth, its passengers have degenerated into helpless corpulence due to laziness and microgravity, their every whim catered to by machines." They are in chairs, moving round and round on a belt, staring at screens. At the end of the movie they kind of have to learn to walk again, because they have been sedentary for so long. This is of course hyperbolic, but the similarity is dangerously noticeable.
Though my sadness and aggravation continue with these observations, I will continue to challenge myself to be where I am, not just "see," but look for people, and discipline myself to sit with God and listen, because He is a still, small voice that breathes comfort and peace and power into my spirit when I seek Him - not when I'm multitasking. Intentionality with our existing relationships is also paramount. Be the instigator who invites friends over for pizza, or to catch up over coffee. Yes, the making a living and the doing of all the things are part of life. This is about setting priorities and being accountable to them. Remind the people in your life that they are special, worthwhile, worth your attention, by making an effort to spend time with them, asking them questions and listening to the full answer. It's in sharing this life, our experiences and struggles and dreams, it's in the being human together, that our purpose and fulfillment is met. If that is primary in our lives, it gives us energy for the "stuff" of life, and it can even influence how we use that stuff to extend connection, and relationship, even further. You know, change begins with me, man in the mirror and all that.
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| Photo by Fares Hamouche on Unsplash |
Comments
On our recent trip to Sweden, I was naively hoping that cell phone addiction was not there, or at least not as prevalent. But it was, and I felt sad for all of us. Although it was a blessing to be able to bring up a map or a train schedule on our phones when in an unfamiliar place, it was more enjoyable to smile at someone and receive one back or actually have a conversation with a Swede! -Wendy