Running on Empty
I've made some changes in my morning routine. The very first thing I do is get coffee, because it tastes great, feels good to my throat and clears the brain fog. (That part wasn't a change.) Then I get my journal, pen and phone. I've been reading the "Bible in One Year" on my YouVersion app. I usually don't like reading my Bible on my phone because the temptation is too great, especially when notifications are coming in, to jump around to other apps, thus losing the full focus that the Lord deserves. Also, I am not likely to hear Him speak if I am still thinking about the last text or ad on Facebook Marketplace I saw. However, Bible in One Year is worth it for me. I didn't start in January, which for an OCD-leaning person, is tough to get over. But I stay with the current date, and I know that I will eventually get through the whole study. I listen to the audio and read along - the more ways to take it in, the better. In my journal, I write the points and scriptures that stand out to me, another way to solidify it in my memory.
First, there is a devotional by Nicky Gumbel, who is plain-spoken and practical, and he has a British accent which is pretty much the cherry on top for me. Then I read 4-5 scriptures in both Old and New Testament, which he manages to tie together with a running theme. To see this common direction from God in Psalms, 2 Chronicles and 1 Corinthians for instance, is truly amazing and indicative of how God has woven the scriptures together masterfully, moreover He has masterfully woven together the events in time and the lives of mankind since the beginning, to show us who He is and the treasures of life in relationship with Him.
This routine along with meditation and prayer, has become so important to me that I've started waking up earlier, without an alarm. It's like my body knows that my soul needs this nourishment, and all of me looks forward to that time. I have the privilege and luxury of time, and I know that is a blessing. When the girls were young, I set my alarm for 5:30, got on the treadmill for 30 minutes, took a shower and had my quiet time before they awoke. It was not as cushy as it is now, but I looked forward to the time equally as much because from the deepest part of my being, I needed that nourishment.
There have been times in life when I did not have that discipline; when I was too tired or too busy to make that time. Days, maybe weeks would go by without it and I would start to feel so empty, or wound up...some kind of discomfort or uneasiness would weigh on me. Then I would start up again and the burden would lighten. God was nudging me, to a point of weighing heavily on my heart, until I would realize what was missing. I am sad for those who don't realize that He and only He, is the answer to that emptiness, to the burden that this life in the world lays on our shoulders. So many people continue to seek that peace, that fullness in this world and continue to be unsuccessful. They keep trying to fulfill their need, disappointment after disappointment, sometimes to their detriment. As the Lord filled the temple built by Solomon, so He and He alone can fill the temple that is now our bodies.
"The priests could not continue their service because of the cloud, for the glorious presence of the Lord filled the Temple of God." 2 Chron. 5:14
"Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?" 1 Cor. 6:19
I start the day empty.
Nothing on which to live,
And thus, nothing to give.
This is a crucial time.
What I choose to fill
Can nourish me, or kill.
What I carry inside
Will find its way out
Some way, somehow.
Consider what fills you.
It determines how you live
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