The FORCE of Habit
Here's a cute little story...we recently moved, so we haven't been able to park our cars in the garage. Because, stuff. We've whittled and whittled and finally, there is room for one car. So when we returned to our home on Sunday night, we proudly parked the car in the garage. Victory!
Monday morning as I was leaving the house, I walked into the garage, squeezed myself between the car and the treadmill that's still out there, and almost walked COMPLETELY PAST the car, to the empty spot where we've been parking it for 8 months. Out of sheer habit, and with knowledge of the car's presence, I walked beyond it, to where it wasn't.
I've used the phrase "force of habit" most of my life, but I've never felt the actual "force" like I did in that moment. Sure, you can attribute some of that to my age, but you should not do so to my face. haha
Habits are real, they are powerful, and they can be life-altering, for the good or bad. They can be completely illogical but equally as necessary in one's mind. As strong as they can seem to us, they can also be changed. In my experience, falling into a bad habit is much easier than creating a good one. Conversely, breaking a bad habit is much harder than keeping up with a good one. WHYYYY? Being human is so frustrating.
Jesus had a habit of getting away to a quiet place to be with his Father. For my own good, and for the good of those I will face during the day, this is a habit I have created in my life. There is a slot in my daily schedule for this purpose. I need solitude to have the energy to pour into others. I'm not talking spiritually, I'm talking, at all. Spending that solitude with God gives the energy as well as the best content in my cup, if you will, to pour out when the opportunity arises. Also, in that time I can know Him better, become like Him, and hopefully, look like Him. Since that's my purpose in this life, it has to be first priority, daily.
Good habits require discipline. Romans 8:7 says, "the sinful nature is always hostile to God," (NIV uses the phrase, "the mind governed by the flesh"). That says to me, if we just let life happen and do whatever we want to do on our own, it's not going to lead us to God's will. We'd like to think that if we know God and we want to do his will, we will automatically walk in the path he's laid out for us. But we have some responsibility here; we are called to "be holy as he is holy," "seek and you will find." That doesn't happen on its own; it doesn't happen because we believe in God. As it is with everything else, you can't just assume it will happen because you want it to happen, you need to make it happen. It is a conscious, deliberate exercise in choice and discipline.
It's kind of become a thing these days when people ask how you are, or how your family is, the response is often "we're so busy," "it's crazy," etc. It's like a badge of honor. Honestly, I don't see it that way. I know some things are out of our control, but a lot is within our control. I have learned not to schedule myself into oblivion, because I'm not the person I want to be, who I believe God made me to be, when my schedule is constantly full. I don't feel like I have time for others, because I said "yes" to too many "good" things, and now I barely have time for the basics. Every decision feels urgent, and the best choices are not always made. I forget easily. Convenience becomes my default. Urgency supersedes importance. This is why priorities need to be set ahead of time, and disciplines practiced that will help keep us from going off-course.
You can be married to someone without having the intimate companionship, the loving relationship and sharing of life that is so rich and fulfilling in all the ways God intended. Love is not the warm, fuzzy feeling you had when you were dating, love is a decision. Newsflash: there will be times when you do not "love" everything about your spouse. Though we all had the ceremony and/or signed the papers to become married, our commitment to keeping, nourishing and growing that relationship far exceeds the minimal requirements it took to "get married". You must develop certain habits to stay connected and keep communication open, you must yield to each other, and keep your priorities as a couple, at the forefront. You can't assume that because you are married, all these things will fall in to place. Because you love each other, it will happen naturally. No. Naturally, we have a mind "governed by the flesh," we will think selfishly, we will assume we are right and the other is wrong, we will be prideful, and we will sometimes be led by the wrong motivation.
Just as I would never want my marriage to become stale and empty, I never want my relationship with God to become those things. "And so the Lord says, 'These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.'" In your relationship with God, and in marriage, you must engage your heart and your mind; you must instill good habits and be disciplined, to reap the amazing benefits that are available.
To the scathing judgment in Is. 29 (above), Isaiah 30:15 offers a solution, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..." If you need to change course, it's never too late. "The Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion." -Isaiah 30:18
Good habits take an effort to begin, for sure. But soon, they become so necessary and meaningful that you look forward to the time you set apart, and you are thankful for it. I encourage you to be diligent in your good habits! When they are in place, the Spirit has a way of transforming you from the inside out. You will have the strength and courage in Him, to overcome the bad habits. Again it's not easy, but with Him, it is possible.
Monday morning as I was leaving the house, I walked into the garage, squeezed myself between the car and the treadmill that's still out there, and almost walked COMPLETELY PAST the car, to the empty spot where we've been parking it for 8 months. Out of sheer habit, and with knowledge of the car's presence, I walked beyond it, to where it wasn't.
I've used the phrase "force of habit" most of my life, but I've never felt the actual "force" like I did in that moment. Sure, you can attribute some of that to my age, but you should not do so to my face. haha
Habits are real, they are powerful, and they can be life-altering, for the good or bad. They can be completely illogical but equally as necessary in one's mind. As strong as they can seem to us, they can also be changed. In my experience, falling into a bad habit is much easier than creating a good one. Conversely, breaking a bad habit is much harder than keeping up with a good one. WHYYYY? Being human is so frustrating.
Jesus had a habit of getting away to a quiet place to be with his Father. For my own good, and for the good of those I will face during the day, this is a habit I have created in my life. There is a slot in my daily schedule for this purpose. I need solitude to have the energy to pour into others. I'm not talking spiritually, I'm talking, at all. Spending that solitude with God gives the energy as well as the best content in my cup, if you will, to pour out when the opportunity arises. Also, in that time I can know Him better, become like Him, and hopefully, look like Him. Since that's my purpose in this life, it has to be first priority, daily.
Good habits require discipline. Romans 8:7 says, "the sinful nature is always hostile to God," (NIV uses the phrase, "the mind governed by the flesh"). That says to me, if we just let life happen and do whatever we want to do on our own, it's not going to lead us to God's will. We'd like to think that if we know God and we want to do his will, we will automatically walk in the path he's laid out for us. But we have some responsibility here; we are called to "be holy as he is holy," "seek and you will find." That doesn't happen on its own; it doesn't happen because we believe in God. As it is with everything else, you can't just assume it will happen because you want it to happen, you need to make it happen. It is a conscious, deliberate exercise in choice and discipline.
It's kind of become a thing these days when people ask how you are, or how your family is, the response is often "we're so busy," "it's crazy," etc. It's like a badge of honor. Honestly, I don't see it that way. I know some things are out of our control, but a lot is within our control. I have learned not to schedule myself into oblivion, because I'm not the person I want to be, who I believe God made me to be, when my schedule is constantly full. I don't feel like I have time for others, because I said "yes" to too many "good" things, and now I barely have time for the basics. Every decision feels urgent, and the best choices are not always made. I forget easily. Convenience becomes my default. Urgency supersedes importance. This is why priorities need to be set ahead of time, and disciplines practiced that will help keep us from going off-course.
You can be married to someone without having the intimate companionship, the loving relationship and sharing of life that is so rich and fulfilling in all the ways God intended. Love is not the warm, fuzzy feeling you had when you were dating, love is a decision. Newsflash: there will be times when you do not "love" everything about your spouse. Though we all had the ceremony and/or signed the papers to become married, our commitment to keeping, nourishing and growing that relationship far exceeds the minimal requirements it took to "get married". You must develop certain habits to stay connected and keep communication open, you must yield to each other, and keep your priorities as a couple, at the forefront. You can't assume that because you are married, all these things will fall in to place. Because you love each other, it will happen naturally. No. Naturally, we have a mind "governed by the flesh," we will think selfishly, we will assume we are right and the other is wrong, we will be prideful, and we will sometimes be led by the wrong motivation.
Just as I would never want my marriage to become stale and empty, I never want my relationship with God to become those things. "And so the Lord says, 'These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.'" In your relationship with God, and in marriage, you must engage your heart and your mind; you must instill good habits and be disciplined, to reap the amazing benefits that are available.
To the scathing judgment in Is. 29 (above), Isaiah 30:15 offers a solution, "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength..." If you need to change course, it's never too late. "The Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion." -Isaiah 30:18
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| Photo by Ryan Tasto on Unsplash |
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