Helpless
It's a humbling thing to feel helpless. For some, it's frustrating; for others, it can be paralyzing. We can remain in struggle mode, we can get depressed and give up, or we can look for help.
I have times when my body doesn't want to be in this thing with me. But I forget about my limitations and still attempt things that I shouldn't, which does not bode well. My husband will sometimes see me struggling and say, "Do you need help?" He knows that I want to at least try, so he gives me an option. Other times, he says, "Let me help you." That's his kind way of saying, it's not really up for discussion.
He had surgery on his shoulder recently, so the roles were reversed. He's had to deal with helplessness and the accompanying frustration, but he also experienced and expressed gratitude for a loving partner. And as his helper, I've been reminded of a few things. I don't mind helping him at all, in fact I want to make it easier for him, and it reminds me that it's not troublesome for him when he helps me; he's offering because it is his willing desire. When I don't accept his help, it is hard for him to watch me struggle while he's right there. If I do allow his help, I can let go of the idea that I'm burdening him, and the anger that my body won't cooperate, and be thankful for a loving and willing partner. I don't know why it's easier to see when the roles are reversed. Maybe I'm blinded by the fog of self-pity when I'm the patient.
Most of my life, I've been equally stubborn about asking the Lord for help. We learn early in life that there is value in helping others. There is value in being self-sufficient. But what value is there in receiving help? That may be the crux of it for me; I want to feel valuable, and being helpless is not valuable to anyone. Therefore when I feel helpless, I feel like I have no value.
This is obviously twisted logic (that's kind of my forte). We love, nurture and protect our newborn babies to our own sleep- and hot meal-deprivation, and we're happy to do it. Why? Because they are the most precious thing in the world to us, not because of what they can do, but because they are ours. Why do I want to help my husband through his recovery? Why does he want to do things for me instead of watching me struggle? Because we belong to each other, we highly value each other as partners and best friends. When we receive kindness and love from others, they are showing us that in fact, we are valuable. Furthermore, to receive kindness is to allow love to be expressed. God is love. To receive help, is to allow God to be expressed. How could we let our pride or our misperceived feelings of unworthiness, keep that from happening?
When I see it like that, I say, help me all day! Jesus washed his apostles' feet to show the value of servanthood, but at first Peter did not want to receive that service. Jesus said, "Unless I wash you, you won't belong to me." Then Peter said, "...not just my feet, but my hands and my head as well!" Peter learned that he must be a servant, but it is also important to receive love when it is offered. "You are in me and I am in you." (Jn. 14:20) We are both worthy to receive love, and we will both display love.
Do you need help? Jesus is right there, watching you struggle, holding out a hand. He would love nothing more, than for you to reach out and take it. Let Him show you how valuable you are to Him. If He puts someone in your life who offers a hand, let His love be expressed through that person. Give praise and gratitude, for a loving and willing Lord, and friend. You are valuable not for what you can do, but because you belong to Him.
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matt. 9:36
Arise, Lord! Lift up your hand, O God. Do not forget the helpless. Psalm 10:12
I will lift my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2
I have times when my body doesn't want to be in this thing with me. But I forget about my limitations and still attempt things that I shouldn't, which does not bode well. My husband will sometimes see me struggling and say, "Do you need help?" He knows that I want to at least try, so he gives me an option. Other times, he says, "Let me help you." That's his kind way of saying, it's not really up for discussion.
He had surgery on his shoulder recently, so the roles were reversed. He's had to deal with helplessness and the accompanying frustration, but he also experienced and expressed gratitude for a loving partner. And as his helper, I've been reminded of a few things. I don't mind helping him at all, in fact I want to make it easier for him, and it reminds me that it's not troublesome for him when he helps me; he's offering because it is his willing desire. When I don't accept his help, it is hard for him to watch me struggle while he's right there. If I do allow his help, I can let go of the idea that I'm burdening him, and the anger that my body won't cooperate, and be thankful for a loving and willing partner. I don't know why it's easier to see when the roles are reversed. Maybe I'm blinded by the fog of self-pity when I'm the patient.
Most of my life, I've been equally stubborn about asking the Lord for help. We learn early in life that there is value in helping others. There is value in being self-sufficient. But what value is there in receiving help? That may be the crux of it for me; I want to feel valuable, and being helpless is not valuable to anyone. Therefore when I feel helpless, I feel like I have no value.
This is obviously twisted logic (that's kind of my forte). We love, nurture and protect our newborn babies to our own sleep- and hot meal-deprivation, and we're happy to do it. Why? Because they are the most precious thing in the world to us, not because of what they can do, but because they are ours. Why do I want to help my husband through his recovery? Why does he want to do things for me instead of watching me struggle? Because we belong to each other, we highly value each other as partners and best friends. When we receive kindness and love from others, they are showing us that in fact, we are valuable. Furthermore, to receive kindness is to allow love to be expressed. God is love. To receive help, is to allow God to be expressed. How could we let our pride or our misperceived feelings of unworthiness, keep that from happening?
When I see it like that, I say, help me all day! Jesus washed his apostles' feet to show the value of servanthood, but at first Peter did not want to receive that service. Jesus said, "Unless I wash you, you won't belong to me." Then Peter said, "...not just my feet, but my hands and my head as well!" Peter learned that he must be a servant, but it is also important to receive love when it is offered. "You are in me and I am in you." (Jn. 14:20) We are both worthy to receive love, and we will both display love.
Do you need help? Jesus is right there, watching you struggle, holding out a hand. He would love nothing more, than for you to reach out and take it. Let Him show you how valuable you are to Him. If He puts someone in your life who offers a hand, let His love be expressed through that person. Give praise and gratitude, for a loving and willing Lord, and friend. You are valuable not for what you can do, but because you belong to Him.
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matt. 9:36
Arise, Lord! Lift up your hand, O God. Do not forget the helpless. Psalm 10:12
I will lift my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-2
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| Photo by Ian Espinosa on Unsplash |
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